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"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." -- Ford Prefect, _Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy_

Your own mileage may vary.

Everyone who comes in here wants three things: 1. They want it quick. 2. They want it good. 3. They want it cheap. I tell em to pick two and call me back. -- sign on the back wall of a small printing company in Delaware

I took a fish head to the movies and I didnt have to pay. -- Fish Heads, Saturday Night Live, 1977.

HP had a unique policy of allowing its engineers to take parts from stock as long as they built something. "They figured that with every design, they were getting a better engineer. Its a policy I urge all companies to adopt." -- Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak, "Will Wozniaks class give Apple to teacher?" EE Times, June 6, 1988, pg 45

"Well, if you cant believe what you read in a comic book, what *can* you believe?!" -- Bullwinkle J. Moose

Inadmissible: Not competent to be considered. Said of certain kinds of testimony which juries are supposed to be unfit to be entrusted with, and which judges, therefore, rule out, even of proceedings before themselves alone. Hearsay evidence is inadmissible because the person quoted was unsworn and is not before the court for examination; yet most momentous actions, military, political, commercial and of every other kind, are daily undertaken on hearsay evidence. There is no religion in the world that has any other basis than hearsay evidence. Revelation is hearsay evidence; that the Scriptures are the word of God we have only the testimony of men long dead whose identity is not clearly established and who are not known to have been sworn in any sense. Under the rules of evidence as they now exist in this country, no single assertion in the Bible has in its support any evidence admissible in a court of law... But as records of courts of justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value. --Ambrose Bierce

By one count there are some 700 scientists with respectable academic credentials (out of a total of 480,000 U.S. earth and life scientists) who give credence to creation-science, the general theory that complex life forms did not evolve but appeared "abruptly." -- Newsweek, June 29, 1987, pg. 23

"Aww, if you make me cry anymore, youll fog up my helmet." -- "Visionaries" cartoon

...this is an awesome sight. The entire rebel resistance buried under six million hardbound copies of "The Naked Lunch." -- The Firesign Theater